Middle-Aged Man Found Abandoned in Fabric Store
Snohomish County sheriff’s officials based out of Everett, Washington, are investigating today after a man in his late 40s was
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Clams: the Sluts of the Ocean
The animal kingdom presents many mysteries to science, but none more than the creatures of the ocean. However, thanks to
Religion
Starbucks Releases ‘Fuck Everyone’ Holiday Cups
Following years of controversial holiday cup releases, Starbucks has finally found a way to satisfy all its customers. The chain’s
Sports
National
Good News: Active Shooters Increase Prayer in Schools
Americans need look no further than public education to see how far the country has abandoned its principles. From taking
PBS Funding Cuts Forcing More Muppets into Porn
I’m standing near the pool of a low-slung house in the heart of the San Fernando Valley. I’ve bummed a
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Bitcoin Weakens Against the Smurfberry
After several days of robust trading, Bitcoin took a tumble today against the Smurfberry as the cybercurrency continued to face
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Congressman Steps Down to Focus on Family Through New Telescope
In a major political shake-up ahead of the 2018 midterms, Rep. Bob Latta (R-Ohio), announced Tuesday that he’s leaving his
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Protest Sign Expects to Wow with Clever ‘Small Hands’ Joke
With its eagerly awaited debut scheduled for a public rally in Madison, WI, later today, a sardonic and biting protest
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The Tragedy of Child-Sex-Trafficking Awareness
When 24-year-old marketing assistant Jonathan Billings rented the Oscar-nominated film Lion, he knew there was a chance he might get
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Man Flattening Cardboard Box Tastes True Power
Brad Saunders never sought power. By all accounts, the unassuming logistics consultant and father of two was content to toil in
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Surgeon General Urges Americans to Check Chest Cavities for Favorite Sponge
At a press conference Thursday, U.S. Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams confirmed that she had lost her “best” surgical sponge and
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Doomsday Clock Now Water Resistant up to 500 Meters
The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists has updated its Doomsday Clock, which indicates how close humanity is to a global catastrophe,
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Catholic Church Provides Flint Residents Faucet-Mounted Water Sanctifiers
“Finally, truly pure water for the people of Flint.” —Archbishop of Detroit. The Archdiocese of Detroit has unveiled a new
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